Well THIS Sucks!
by Midna Hytwilian
Summary: Stated by Private in Madigascar "well this sucks" is REALLY the title. Because well...being stuck in Mrs. Lovett's body and being stuck in Sweeney Todd's body DOES suck. To get back at each other what extremes will they go to? ST/ML!
1. Chapter 1 Perfume

**Disclaimer: Ivory: Midna does not.**

**Daphne: Own.**

**Vicky and Alice: Sweeney Todd.**

**A/N Thanks my OC characters of joy! A random switcharino story! I will be coming up with a NEW story soon so here is a LITTLE example of it! This is told by two characters I came up with one called, Sally-Sue (yep Mary-Sue's cousin) and Anti-Harry-Sue (yes the anti Sue cousin!) Each one will tell the story! YAY!**

Anti-Harry Sue in BOLDS.

**Sally-Sue in **_italics._

_"Oh Harry isn't this wonderful? Mary and Gary Sue are coming over tomorrow so we can ALL write our first ever Sweeney Todd Fan Fiction!" I squealed delighted by the thought of my cousins coming over. _"Oh yeah let's piss off another flamer why don't we? And for the last time it's NOT the first ST FF!" I shouted at her. Why did she have to insist on us writing a ST FF on two girls from the real world getting stuck in ST, in the bodies of Sweeney and Lovett? 

**And so you have it that is our sweet little preview! Now enjoy this SWITCH story! Flamers welcomed, it most likely will suck but please bare with me.**

"Mr. T com' ova' here. Loo' what I foun'!" Mrs. Lovett exclaimed as she sniffed the sweet lillac perfume. Perhaps it would turn her love on she hoped. "It smells cheap." Sweeney Todd grimmaced at the smell and wrinkled his nose. That did not stop Mrs. Lovett from buying it though. Of course it wouldn't, the two pratically disagreed on EVERYTHING. The only thing he had ever agreed with her on was about killing people and making them into fresh meatpies.

After purchasing the perfume and serving fresh meatpies to customers all day Mrs. Lovett plopped down onto the couch, exhausted. "Maim are you alrigh'?" Toby's little voice asked walking over with a frown. "O' course Toby. Tire' is all." Came the baker's response. She put some of her new perfume on her wrist and laid her head onto a cushion.

"Maim is it alrigh' if I hav' a glas' o' gin?" Toby asked while shaking her shoulder softly. Since when had he EVER asked? "Go ahea' Toby." She yawned and fell asleep on the couch while snoring slightly. In her sleep she talked to herself quietly "I wis' Mr. T kne' how I feel abou' him." **  
O.O**

"Mum wak' up." Toby whispered in her ear shaking her very hard. "Bloody Toby let me sleep!" Her voice groaned irrateted by the boy. The boy took a step back shocked by what she said. Immediatly she sat up and gasped noticing where she was and how her voice sounded. "Mrs. Lovett ar' you alrigh'?" Toby frowned slightly. Honestly he could be such a needy boy.

"Err...yes Tob'...dear." She gulped down the word dear. "Go an' start breakfast." She ordered her way of speaking seeming off. "Yes mum." Toby walked off to the kitchen. "I am going to kill that woman when I see her." Mrs. Lovett's voice threatened.

**O.O**

"GET UP NOW!" Mrs. Lovett's voice ordered kicking at Sweeney Todd's legs. "Ow, Mr. T wha' are ya' doin' up so early?" Came a deep reply groaning slightly. Just like Mrs. Lovett, Sweeney Todd sat up, "AH WHO ARE YOU!" Sweeney Todd screamed. "What DID you do woman!" Mrs. Lovett asked irrateted.

"Mr. T is tha' you? My...my voic'!" Sweeney shrieked noticing his voice for the first time. "Mrs. Lovett I assure you it is me, now get out of my body!" Mrs. Lovett ordered going for Sweeney Todd's holster that held his razors. "I am afrai' dearie tha' I do not kno' how to ge' out of your body." Sweeney gulped.

**A/N Oh shit Mrs. Lovett's in Sweeney's body. Sweeney's in Mrs. Lovett's body. Toby's in his own body. Everyone ELSE is in their OWN bodies. Lmao. Sweeney's so sly making Toby go make breakfast. ANYWHO next chapter the names will be changed to fit who is REALLY in that body. In other words for Sweeney (even though he is in Mrs. Lovett's body) he will be refered to as Sweeney. For Mrs. Lovett (even though she is in Sweeney Todd's body) she will be refered as Mrs. Lovett. Once again I said this was a little crappy and that it was a random idea. I just thought lillac perfume/a wish made enough sense on how come it happened! But they don't know that now do they? And if one puts it on again and wishes for them to get put back into their ORIGNAL bodies will it work? I most certaintly hope not! Review and flame folks! STEP RIGHT UP! **


	2. Chapter 2 Threats are FUN!

**Disclaimer: Ivory: After watching Sweeney Todd once more today.**

**Daphne: Midna discovered she does NOT own Sweeney Todd.**

**Me: But I do own the DVD! (holds Dvd up triumphantly) Yeah you so jelious.**

**A/N Well I am happy that Well THIS Sucks is getting good reviews! Please spread the news of the stories success if you can and click on that little button that has my username and read OTHER stories by me.**

**Sweeney: Or by order of Midna I am forced to slit your throat...(mummbles) not that I don't want to anyway.**

**Me: So you jeard Sweeney, review and possibly click on me to at LEAST read my summaries! Who knows maybe you'll like an idea that I discontinue and you can take over!**

"I swear to god woman if you were NOT in my body I would have slit your throat by now." Sweeney Todd threatened.

"Mr.T I don' know how to get us bac' ta normal." Mrs. Lovett stood up and looked at herself in the mirror smiling.

"Oh dear god take that smile off my face right now." Sweeney Todd groaned hating to see the reflection of himself.

"You loo' so nice Mr. T with a smil'." Mrs. Lovett defended and began pecking kisses on the mirror.

He stared in shock at the scene in front of him, his eyebrows knit as he continued to watch her insane obsession with his face.

"That has to be illegal." He muttered to himself pacing about the room when a knock came on the door.

"Mrs. Lovett, ar' ya in ther'?" Toby's voice called from behind.

Mrs. Lovett jumped back and her smile turned into a grin on the demon barber's face.

"Yes I am Toby!" She answered with his deep voice and Toby walked in, his eyes darting to her with a curious look.

"Mr. Todd wh' did YOU answe'?" Toby accused staring directly at her.

"Er...I....did not hea' you?" Sweeney tried to confince with his very bad impression of her talk.

Toby jumped up and hugged him as he looked at Mrs. Lovett with disgust.

"Oh maim ther' you ar'!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"Get off of me!" The barber ordered pushing him back.

"Mrs. Lovett is everythin' alrigh'?" Toby looked him up and down and then turned to Mrs. Lovett.

"Come...er...her' Toby." Mrs. Lovett tried to speak like Sweeney Todd but failed.

_Well this was going to be bloody tough._

**A/N Lmao, Sweeney threatening to slit his own bodies throat. Ah so awesome. ANYWHO Toby's a tad bit suspcious on "Mrs. Lovett's" and "Sweeney Todd's" behavior. Poor feeble minded Toby! ANYWAY check out next time when Sweeney has to teach Mrs. Lovett how to slit a throat properly as she teaches him how to bake a meat pie! Oh dear god they are so fucking dead meat. **

**Eeh hee got the pun? **


	3. Chapter 3 Sweeney Gay MomnMrsL's hair

**Disclaimer: Ivory: I believe we've already established that Midna owns nothing.  
Daphne: She does not own Sweeney Todd.**

**A/N WELLL. get ready for our NEXT chaps! Lmao. Here's where it gets REALLY funny. What with Sweeney making fun of Mrs. Lovett's hair and well...you'll see....eeh hee. Oh and don't think I didn't forget our little special trading secrets moment...**

"Toby get out. Leave me and Mrs-Mr. Todd alone." Sweeney ordered as Toby's eyes widened at the use of calling the barber Todd instead of T.

With a shrug to himself Toby left the room slamming the door behind him to spite who he assumed was Mrs. Lovett.

Mrs. Lovett started to cry as Sweeney stared at her annoyed "stop getting me all soaking wet Mrs. Lovett!" He ordered pissed off.

"I'm sorry Mr. T." She appoligized sniffling. Sweeney picked a razor up and smiled wickedly at it. This upset Mrs. Lovett's stomach to see such an expression on her face.

"Mr. T wha' will we do?" Mrs. Lovett asked folding her arms across her chest.

"First off, try to actually talk and move around like me. Second, we will continue what we do best. Third, do you know how to slit a throat?" He asked finally.

Mrs. Lovett gasped at his idea "Mr. T you don't mea' I...sli' throats do ya?"

He rolled her eyes and looked outside to see a man look at the sign. Quickly he changed it to open. "Tell me I can shave the next customer when he comes in." Sweeney ordered.

The man walked in and smiled at the two, "good morning Mr. Todd and...Mrs. Lovett I presume." The man welcomed.

"Mrs. Lovett love, woul' you like to give the nic' man a shav'?" Mrs. Lovett asked smiling softly at him.

"Do not call me love." He hissed.

"Why eve' not my sweetes', my dove, my pet?" She asked sweetly. Silently to himself he gagged on what she was trying to do.

"I see you two are dating?" The man asked with a chuckle as he sat down and Sweeney tied a cloth around him, tightening it a little too much on purpose.

"Yes," Mrs. Lovett lied and gave Sweeney a kiss. _Well she isn't a woman right now..._he thought to himself and sent a slap across his own face.

"OW MR. T YOU'RE BARKIN' MAD!" Mrs. Lovett shrieked as she rubbed his face.

"Mr. Todd, what is-" the man's sentence was cut off by Sweeney's quick slash and was replaced with gurgles.

Sweeney Todd put Mrs. Lovett's foot on the pedal and off the man went. "If you EVER do that again I will-I'll....damn it what the hell CAN I do?" He asked himself furiously. "Look did you get the whole slitting thing?"

"Yes Mr. T, nex' time thou' do not sla' me!" She ordered with a huff. "Follo' me to the bak' hous'."

_In the Bakehouse_

"HOW THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU DO THIS WITH YOUR WEAK BODY?" Sweeney questioned as he gave the meat a good grind. He began panting from all the work.

"Oh thi' is nothin' Mr. T, you shoul' see dinna' rush!" She laughed.

---------------------------

After a long tiring day of the two doing each other's jobs it was time for them to go to sleep. Mrs. Lovett walked into her room as Sweeney Todd did the same. Unfortunatly Toby noticed, "Mrs. Lovett, why ar' ya in Mr. T's room?" Toby asked from behind the door.

So the two were forced to sleep in the bodie's correct room. Surprisingly Sweeney Todd fell asleep with no problem while Mrs. Lovett didn't get any sleep at all. You should have seen her when she had to go to the bathroom...

The two awoke late on a Saturday and Sweeney sent Toby to go get some toffees to get him out of the way. "Ge' up Mr. T! Honestl' is thi' how you ar' wheneva' you ge' sleep?" Mrs. Lovett asked poking at him as he rolled over.

After five minutes of poking he awoke aggrivated. "Dear god look at your hair! I never noticed how much like a nest it looks!" He gasped as he passed a mirror to see her reflection, or rather now his.

"Do not mak' fun of my hair Mr. T!" She ordered and he smirked.

"Oh I can't make fun of your hair can I now?" He continued to smirk and began going on about how she looked like a beggar.

Suddenly as if on ironic cue came Anthony into the pie shop. "Mrs. Lovett where is Mr. Todd?" Anthony asked looking around.

Sweeney did the same, _where is the bloody woman? She was JUST here! _He thought furiously. Why did this boy have to come here every week now that he knew about Johanna?

Why couldn't he just rescue her or bring some new scrap of news to him?

"I'm righ' here Anthony," Mrs. Lovett smiled and Anthony took a step back noticing too the smile that never was on the REAL barber's face.

"Oh Anthony, you ar' so big and stron'," she flirted as Sweeney stared in pure shock. Anthony did the same.

"Mr. Todd are you feeling well?" Anthony asked trying to get over the strangeness.

"Now I am tha' you're here." Mrs. Lovett continued and Anthony scampered out.

Sweeney Todd did not say one word as he stomped off into her room. He came back out an hour later with straight hair, bouncy straight hair.

"MY HAIR MR. T YOU DIDN'!" She exclaimed as she began crying for her lose of the nest she once had.

"And THAT is for flirting with Anthony." He stated as he slumped into a seat.

_So this was how they were going to play?_

**A/N Eeh Hee, yay for Mrs. Lovett acting gay around Anthony! Yay for Sweeney making Mrs. Lovett's hair nice! More insanity and revenge to come from our favorite switched bodies couple NEXT TIME! Send in your suggestions for situations like these or possibly OTHER THINGS! All suggestions are welcome!**


	4. Chapter 4 We Got A Problem

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sweeney Todd, I'm saving funnies.**

A/N Thank you all my wonderful reviewers! Especially this ONE unsigned reviewer.

**From: NelliethePieAngel ()**

**-------------------**

**Oh, they're in trouble. Can anyone say, London's Funniest Home Videos? Well,**

**I can't wait to continue onto the next chapter.**

**  
Lol yes I can say London's Funniest Home Videos. As much as I'd LOVE to see everything's gonna be normal it ain't. Especially with Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett getting back at each other. (shudders) I mean did you READ chapter 3? Even **_**I **_**think it was cruel what Mrs. Lovett did. AND I WROTE IT! But then again Sweeney SEMI got back at her. Thanks dearie and I hope you love the story more as we go deeper into comedy.**

**  
Now take a walk on the wild side and continue the insane chapter 4. We got a little shocking surprise. Also NelliethePieAngel dearie I am assuming that London's Funniest Home Videos was a suggestion SOOOO I am going to TRY to use it into this chapter.**

"Mr. T ho' coul' you!" Mrs. Lovett asked as she continued to stare at her hair. "It took years to accomplis' tha'!"

He rolled her eyes and went over to the counter where the pies were. "Well I could always disgust you..." he answered a thought.

Mrs. Lovett gasped, "no, you ar' NOT thinkin' of tha'!"

"Forget it, it is not worth me having to eat it..." Sweeney dropped the matter and peered out the window to see Toby.

The door opened and Toby immediatly ran up to Sweeney Todd "Mrs. Lovett I got the toffes!" He exclaimed with joy.

"Oh dear god do you ever shut up?" Sweeney asked annoyed at all the tugging on his legs. Honestly he thought it was for other reasons but shrugged the idea off that Toby had a crush on Mrs. Lovett.

"Mr. T," Mrs. Lovett hissed annoyed that he couldn't show SOME affection.

"Mr. Todd, wha' wha's going on here?" Toby asked looking back at forth at the two.

The barber face palmed himself and glared at Mrs. Lovett.

Sweeney began to explain the entire irratating miraculous story to Toby even though he would have rathered to slit his throat.

"Toby ar' ya alrigh'?" Mrs. Lovett asked noticing Toby's face go pale.

"I ha' a crush on Mr. Todd fo' two days?" Toby asked twitching.

"I KNEW IT!" Sweeney shouted excited his theory was correct.

Mrs. Lovett glared at Sweeney Todd and he realized how friggin odd it was to see his own face angry with him.

"So...thi' means ya two hav' to switch jobs?" Toby stated more then asked. He was doing his best to get over this.

_Later on Because I would Not Like to go into Details on How they just said Yes and Went Back to Torturing Each Other and Slitting throats While Toby had No Clue_

He glared at Mrs. Lovett for what had to have been the millionth time today.

How dare she insult his hair and razors?

"Oh Mr. T at leas' I didn't go out pretendin' I was a prostitute like _SOME _people." Mrs. Lovett argued for the hundreth time that day.

Okay yeah maybe it was a BIT harsh going out in Mrs. Lovett's body and pretending she was a prostitute....but hey she deserved it.

The sun was setting fast and he stomped off to her room to get some blankets for his room so he could get some sleep after that stupid dinner rush.

"Bloody woman, if I ever get my body back I'm getting far away from her and this hell hole." He muttered as he stomped back up to his room and stopped in front of the door peering in.

"Oh dear god." He gasped as he saw her dancing around singing about her obsessions with him. "THIS IS WHAT SHE DOES AT NIGHT!?!"

Mrs. Lovett heard the shout outside the door and stopped. She opened the door to see her body fuming.

"I can explai'?" She tried but he pushed her out of his way and got into his small bed.

"If you ever do that again in my body I'm tossing you into the furnace." He threatened as he curled up into the blankets to sleep. Oh if only how true that was....

She walked out and went to her room. When she saw the cheery wallpaper she felt like gagging.

Meanwhile Sweeney Todd stared at his room and felt depression take over him. "What the bloody hell is wrong with me?" He asked noticing the odd feeling.

Also meanwhile Mrs. Lovett was having a very odd and familiar epiphany. "MR. T," She yelled running up to the shop.

"Mrs. Lovett, I believe we have an issue." He explained sitting up.

Each of them pointed at the other with an accusing finger "I'M BECOMING YOU!" They shouted in unison.

_Well that took about forever to figure out. _

**A/N Lmao I love my ending comments. Shit Sweeney's turning into everyone's obsessed baker while Mrs. Lovett's turning into everyone's sexiest murdering barber! Have I no mercy? (thinks for a second) Yep no mercy. ANYWHO I think the whole Mrs. Lovett's dancing thing was a Home's Funniest Videos moment so...and god can I picture that one. ANYWAY why DO I say rolled HER eyes? Because they aren't Sweeney's eyes they're Mrs. Lovett. I know confusing but so is life. Toby knows and is a tad bit freaked out....but he's not to worried what with Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney's strong body and if Sweeney dared try to kill her he'd probably die too, besides Mrs. Lovett could throw him up against a wall. YAY!  
Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett are gonna have to figure something out VERY soon because this ain't to good! Find out next time on...Well THIS Sucks!**


	5. Chapter 5 A Short Finale

**Disclaimer: I do **_**not**_** own Sweeney Todd.**

**A/N Well after much thought here it is-the ending-of Well THIS Sucks! Because well I have so many more stories to finish and I don't know what else I can do. If you enjoyed this idea then please do take it and make your version! I'd love to read it!  
**

"Dear god what di' you do? Ther' has to be som' way to turn us bac'!" Sweeney Todd protested groaning at the way he was speaking.

Mrs. Lovett ran out of the room as he called for her to come back but does she listen? N_ooooooo_. After a minute she returned with-"perfume?"

She rolled his eyes and sat down "not just any perfume, the perfume I made a wish with the night we got switched." She explained dabbing some on him.

"Grea' now I'm goin' to smell like chea' perfume," he frowned as she began whispering something that he could not hear.

With a sigh Mrs. Lovett ordered "go to sleep hopefully it should work."

"Yes dearie, oh god did I jus' call meself a dearie!?" Sweeney shouted noticing what horror he had said as she groaned.

"Do shut it."

With that she left to leave him to go to sleep.

_**The Next Morning-oh fancy lettering!  
Sweeney: Midna cut it out you're interrupting the finale.**_

He felt someone smacking at him as he yawned, he had gotten some very familiar sleep, and it was broken up the entire night. "Mr. T wak' up, it worked!" Mrs. Lovett's voice squealed with delight.

Sweeney Todd darted up from bed and looked at himself, "oh thank god! Mrs. Lovett you're a bloody wonder! Wait a minute, you started this whole mess!" He realized as he took his hands off her hips.

"Aww and I was hopin' you'd spi' me acros' the room!" She pouted and walked out the door leaving the demon barber to pace and look out his window.

Silently he thought to himself, _I wonder if she thought what I think of her._

As Mrs. Lovett went downstairs to tell Toby the good news she hoped silently to herself, _I hope he didn't find out about Lucy._

If only they knew how their life's would turn out in the end. Oh well they had a chance.

**A/N I know bad ending, sorry guys but I wanted to finish this really badly so I can have one less story to finish this Summer! Please understand that this Summer after all my already in process stories are completed I will not be writing until it ends. Or if I do it will be scattered. In other words it'll be a long ass time till I get back. Lol. Hope you liked the short series, if you come up with one please do tell me about it and I will read it!  
If you liked Well THIS Sucks! You'll enjoy other Sweeney Todd fan fictions by Midna!  
Such as…Portals Gone A Miss-**Oh NO! When Midna's portals don't work what havoc will they create? Sweeney Characters, Twilight Characters, Spongebob Characters, and who the hell is that? Friends, family, and possessions are stolen, will they save the day, items, and find the traitor?

**When History Came To Life-**Sally May Brown encounters history coming to life before her eyes as she sees the ghosts of our favorite baker and barber. Who are the two she sees? What happened on Fleet Street? Is London as bad as she thinks? When History Came To Life will amaze you.

**A Lust For Blood Never Dies-**A lust for blood never dies love, it simply waits and starves. Once you feed it, it cannot get enough." These are the words of the demon barber. A month later since the demon events and here he is, a survivor of the only ones who lived the events. ST/OC **CURRENTLY IN PROCESS**

**Ironic I Think So-**Ichabob Crane comes to London Fleet Street and lives with soon to be murderers Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney Todd. Ironic? I think so. This is MOVIE Ichabob, the only way to put this as a crossover is to say BOOK. Will Ichabob Crane find their secrets out? **CURRENTLY IN PROCESS**

**Portals Gone A Miss: The Demon Barber of Fleet St.-** The sequel to Portals Gone A Miss finally out! The group is back and some are gone! 4 new characters, on small room, 12 in one room! Who'll be bunking with Sweeney tonight! Lol. **CURRENTLY IN PROCESS**

**You Can't Turn Back-**And just like that, she couldn't turn back. No matter how much it makes sense it still doesn't. What had happened? What had sent her there and back? And more importantly, how was he going to react to her? **CURRENTLY IN PROCESS**

**Well that's all folks! Just so ya know which stuff is serious and what is not here's a list! **

**When History Came To Life-Serious Oneshot**

**A Lust For Blood Never Dies-Serious/Comic Series**

**You Can't Turn Back-Serious/Angst/Drama Series**

**Portals Gone A Miss-Pure Comedy Series**

**Portals Gone A Miss: The Demon Barber of Fleet St.-Pure Comedy Series**

**Ironic I Think So-Comedy/Serious Crossover Series**

**Hope to see ya there!**


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